Rental Property Blues

RENTERS: THEY’RE GREAT UNTIL THEY’RE NOT

I have seen this question come up on occasion.

“How do I get rid of my renters?”

Well, in the past, I have suggested Saint Michael with some very good results. He’s the Arch Angel of Protection, the Armour of God, and the patron of police officers, and if your tenants are “that” kind of a problem, you are probably going to have the cops showing up sooner or later. Why not let Saint Michael be the point man in the process?

Burn a candle to him daily and recite this prayer:

“Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in Armageddon. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do thou, O Prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God, bind the forces of Death and Hell, the seed of Satan, the false hierarchy of Antichrist and all evil spirits who wander through the world for the ruin of souls. And remand them to the Court of the Sacred Fire for their Final Judgment including <insert optional personal prayer here>.

Cast out the dark ones and their darkness, the evildoers and their evil words and works, cause, effect, record and memory, into the lake of sacred fire prepared for the devil and his angels.”

In the name of the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit and the Mother, Amen.”

Once the renters are out, you’re going to want to do some heavy cleaning in both the spiritual and the mundane sense. A solution of Nettle, Lemongrass, Rue, Epsom Salts, and Ammonia should clear most things out. Alternately, you can use the traditional standby of Chinese Wash.

Once things are clean, create a powder of the following to help rent the place out, to the right kind of people, and to help keep things peaceful once the renters are in: Five-Finger Grass, Boldo, Cedar, Devil’s Bit, Devil’s Shoestring, Grains of Paradise, Parsley, Licorice Root and Sassafras. Dress each corner, the window frames, and the doorknobs of the house with this powder.

Lastly, even if you are using a management company to keep an eye on things for you, I would still be available to the renters should they have issues. (Management companies, like renters, can be good and bad.) However, if you do this, know that they may try to play on your sympathies when rent comes due. Just let them know that their monies help you pay your house payment (whether this is true or no), so you cannot allow them any leeway.

Good luck!

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