The Turn of the Screw


Once in a great while, there will be an instance where I simply cannot bide my time waiting for the Cosmic 2 x 4 to come along and smack a given individual in the head. (I’m getting older and I just do not have the patience.) Instead, I will deputize myself an Agent of Justice, will initiate the Learning Process Protocol (AKA open up a can of whoop ass), and will unkindly do the needful. ‘Cause you know what? Some assholes just need a lesson.

One of the easiest and cheapest jinxing tricks I know is also one of my favorites. ‘Tis especially good for the workplace.

You will need:

  • A black Sharpie pen
  • The Target’s business card
  • A 1-2 inch wood screw (with the pointed end)
  • Some Legendary Conjure Crossing/Jinxing Oil

Take the Target’s business card, write your petition on the back and your name nine times across theirs on the front. Dab the card with the LC Crossing/Jinxing oil in a five-spot pattern. Fold the card three times, away from you and towards their general direction, while calling out how you want them to be “screwed.” Then take the wood screw and screw it through the middle of the folded card. Take the card and screw assembly and morning, noon, and night call their name, twist the screw back and forth, and describe how you want them to be “screwed” — screwed by their own wrongdoing, screwed by somebody else, or just screwed by circumstance.

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